UNSOLICITED ADVICE FROM AN ALMOST OLD TIMER


The only complaint I have with sobriety is time, it moves so fast. When I was “out there” every day was the same, getting high was a full time job that I hated checking into every damn day. It often seemed like everyday was a monday, struggling…trying to just function, trying to just not hit withdrawals. 
Now I look up and I will have twelve years in June. Life moves fast, this second life of borrowed time moves even faster because we all know it Is just that, borrowed time. If you’re new to sobriety don’t make the mistakes I did, learn from some of us who have been around a while, heed some of this unsolicited advice. 
Love: There is nothing more important than this… 
Don’t be like I was and listen to people in the rooms who tell you who you can and cannot love. 

Don’t be like I was , know you are worthy of love no matter your past and when you find love don’t be like I used to be and abuse it.  
Always hold onto it and most importantly give it the attention it deserves. For after all what else is there? 
Children: Love them with all you have. You’re commitment and time dedicated to them will be the most unselfish action you take in your sobriety. 
Don’t be like I was for a few years of my sobriety and think you can “make up the time” later, or “do or buy something special” for or with your child or children. You cannot. There’s nothing, absolutely nothing more valuable you can give them then your UNDISTRACTED time. 
Your career in treatment: If you work in substance use disorder and are in an anonymous program, SEPARATE THEM. 
Don’t be like I was for about 18 months of my sobriety when the line got blurred. Whether you’re a therapist, an outreach coordinator, a facility owner, interventionist or whatever, take the advice my favorite mentor Phillip Causey gave me. The wording I believe was “Your job is your job and your program is your damn program, wake up”! 

Getting paid an hourly wage or an annual salary is not altruism, in fact it’s the opposite. You’re in an industry that is mostly staffed by addicts and alcoholics and somewhere in their recovery they turned theirs jobs into their programs, and as a result are sick AF, have relapsed or are living in some weird state of what I can only describe as professional egoism. I’ve been there, it’s dangerous, they look stupid AF and it sucks. 
Your belief in God or a Higher Power is YOUR BELIEF
Don’t be like I was and let other people tell you stupid ass slogans like “Religion is for people afraid to go to hell spirituality is for people who have been there”. Fucking Gross. Find YOUR belief however that looks, seek God or your high power and never ever give AF what anyone says. This is about YOUR understanding of God and no one else’s. 

Don’t be like me and shun the Church, Synagogue, Buddhist temple or anything else after 3 years of being a stubborn asshole in sobriety I found some of the most amazing and beautiful people thru those places of worship, I pray you do as well. 
Know, always know There’s nothing to chase, there’s no finish line. 
Don’t be like me and chase anything, God has a plan stay as connected as you can to HIM and you will see it clearly.

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