Sometimes other people try to help you get out of your grief by offering advice or “constructive criticism.” They may admonish you to “get over it” or to “get back into life.” These comments can hurt.
Remember, you have an insight into the grieving process that these people do not have. You know that the length of the grieving process is different for each person. You know you have to let the grieving process take place, because if you try to rush it, you will only prolong the healing.
“So many people will say: ‘Well, it’s been six months. Don’t you think you should be over it by now?’ But for each person it’s different, and to say those things is very hurtful because maybe that person isn’t ready,” says Emy, a widow.
You cannot rely on other people to say the right words and provide the right comfort, but you can rely on God.
Job’s “friends” condemned him and did not understand his grief. “Then Job replied: ‘I have heard many things like these; miserable comforters are you all!’” (Job 16:1-2).
Father God, I know that my friends and family mean well, but they just don’t understand that I am not there yet. Help me to know when I am. Holy Spirit, You are my Comforter. In You alone will I find refuge. Amen.